The old adage "time flies when you're having fun" has me stumped right now. Six weeks is a relatively short period of time for most things, but for me today it seems like a very long time. Yet, I wouldn't say I'm having fun. So am I having fun and I just don't know it because these six weeks have flown by so fast? Or is it because I wait in expectation? Hmmm. Can't be that because usually time goes slow when you're waiting, right? I'm all confused.
What I do know is six weeks ago today things looked different. Incredibly different. Yet that different wasn't what I wanted. What I have now is what I wanted, then. But guess what...where I am now is not where I want to be. Well, it is but not exactly. Go figure. I need to give myself a few more weeks. More months. More patience. These six weeks I've learned, been exposed, witnessed and experienced so many things. Things that I've always wanted to. Things I had only read about in books or on social networks. It all made sense once I was able to see that which I never knew, but now I do. I can't say the last six weeks have not been by His plan. He is Sovereign and in control. Control. I just need to say that word a few more times to make sure I know who's really in control. See, I think I am. But I'm not. Nothing is going at the pace I want it to. The Bible says, man plans his ways but God directs (Proverbs 16:9). I made a plan, went through with it and now I must submit to the Director. He is directing things perfectly and though I know this, I still am not happy with it. I want to control and direct how this is supposed to go. Ha! I should know better. There's a reason He's the Director and not me, but I sure want to implement my own plan and my own timing. However, in the meantime, as I struggle with what I know to be right...that the Lord's way is always the right way versus what I want to happen today..... I will continue seeking Him for patience and a good attitude as I "wait patiently for Him". As I wait for Him to give me my hearts desire in HIS perfect timing, as I trust in Him. Trusting has never been easy for this broken girl. Even trusting the One who has or who will never hurt me.
Six weeks. ONLY six weeks. Six weeks of adventures and memories I never had before today. Six weeks of lessons learned I could have never learned any other way.Six weeks I would not rewind for the world. Only Six weeks. Only Forty two days. Only one thousand one hundred eight hours.
