Graduate School

So the process begins. It's for real. Like for real, for real. I have started the application to apply for graduate school. I say for real, for real because I've put my money where my mouth is. I have paid for a few things associated with merely starting the application. There are a few more fees to go before I will be finished applying, but I have started. This is my hearts desire. Keeping in mind, I may not get accepted to this school, I am only focusing on the fact that I have started the process to go. One step at a time. Next month makes a year. A YEAR (whew!) that I graduated with my Bachelors. I really can't believe an entire year has gone by since I reached that dream. And now I am on to my next one. There are so many reasons why I have talked myself out of starting this new journey, but me and the Lord has done this thing long enough for me to know what I must pursue. See, sometimes when  I want to do something, I take it to the Lord and He says no. I always know when it's a NO, because the desire to pursue it will only diminish. But when I am to go after something the desire only increases in intensity. So after twelve months of going back and forth and never knowing where I'd actually apply, or IF I'd ever apply...I'm here. In this moment, I am neither excited nor unexcited. I just am. I have no emotions attached to this journey because I've processed the emotions for the last 12 months.

My life is crazy busy right now--I work more than 40 hours a week, I single mom this life with two active teenagers, I have some medical issues which of one causes great exhaustion, and last but not least the other half of my heart is in a different city and I yearn for us to be together. I said all that to say, I have no idea what my future looks like in regards to anything. But God willing, life will continue and I have to plan accordingly. So grad school is in my desired plans. Not sure how I will manage it with the hours I work. Not sure how Mini Me will stay the social butterfly with my work schedule + grad school. I am clueless as to how in the world I will get my yearning met by committing a few more years of my life to this new state I am in, while my baby is in another state. I don't know. I have no answers. But, I know the One Who has all the answers. I have faith and trust that He will work it all out. One thing I know is He has made me to go after what I want. There is no stopping me once I want something. So as I continue to build a great network of people here in this beautiful new state, I am sure I can make it all happen. And you know what, if I can't...I will continue to push forward. Graduate school is in my future. I hope my most near future, but if not it is in my future somewhere. Wish me luck on this new chapter, of my new book of life I have begun writing!